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My bad situation
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My bad situation
My name is Orlando Cárdenas, I’m from México and I really need to share my history because I’m having a really bad times :(. Also my bad decisions and experiences could help some else to don’t make same mistakes.
I start to play online poker for living when I was 17 ( I used to play with my mom’s name XD). Y was very young so I never took it seriously. Every week I cash out my earnings and I just go get drunk and party, the same for several years. Now after more than 10 years I have 250 usd bankroll and that’s all that I have. I look back and I can see how I waste 10 years of my life. Now I’m determined to do things right, thats why I suscribe to PLOMASTERMIND, you probably won’t believe me but I have never read or studied anything about poker and all this 10 years I earn at least 7bb/100 playing PLO 100.
<font face=”inherit” style=”background-color: rgb(55, 55, 55); font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Maybe you asking how is that posible if yo have only 250 usd BR? Last year I went to play a live poker game ( home game), a variant of 5 card poker called Killing aces, is a very popular game invented in </font>Mexico.<font face=”inherit” style=”background-color: rgb(55, 55, 55); font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> That night was my best day at poker, I won 40k usd, the funny thing here is that I was completely drunk. That day I decided to quit online poker and I started to play life poker. 3 or 4 month later I lost everything I had (BR and my cars) thanks to alcohol and that I didn’t know how to face frustration and despair of losing big amounts for me, now I understand I need a mental game.</font>
I wish everything had ended there I can live without money and I can start again from cero, but those guys gave me credit and now I owe a big amount :(. Maybe it is easy to read it but I am having really bad times despair and frustration are always in my head y feel like a slave, I live in angry, have to play everyday to pay, I have no time for me, alot of shit I can not explain because I have not the words.
However I’m sure in matter of time I’m going get out of this situation, I have no doubts in me. And everythig I wrote today is to remenber me the mistakes I made and never make them again.
VISION
My mind had chance with my bad experience, I don’t see poker and money like a used to see them. I realice this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. But while I keep doing it, I’m not interested in how much I earn, I’m interested in giving my best to see how far I can go.
PURPOSE
Save a decent amount of money, then stop playing poker for living and start looking what I want to do for the rest of my life.MILESTONES
* Pay my debts
* Be able to control my tilt ( also apply in my life with anger and angry)
*Have an atletic body ( I star to do work out a couple months ago )
* Rech my higher level at poker
Althougt it may seem otherwise, I’m not sorry for my decisions. I see poker as a harded and more difficult training for what is coming in life.
As I said at the beginning, I needed to tell my situation to someone. I hope someone reads it and that my bad experience can help more than one.
THANKS.
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5 Replies
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Welcome Orlando,
Thanks for sharing your story, sorry to read that things are not in a great place right now, takes a lot to share these experiences, it’s easy to share the feel good moments but to share those feel bad moments requires a lot more, so thanks for sharing. I am sure things will improve and it looks like you’re now ready to map out your life going forward, knowing that past events are exactly that in the past, you live and you learn from them.
I wish you the best of luck with your goals and milestones and look forward to following along as you achieve them and progress to where you want to be!
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you will need to lock yourself down in the house and just play poker until you make it. there are people who went from millionaire to broke and back to millionaire – all it takes is will
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Hey,
This is my first comment on the forum and I just had to reply to you because I can relate aaa lot with your situation. Being in huge dept and HAVING to play all the time to keep up with it is super stressful and makes everything 100x harder. As you said you constantly don’t have time for yourself and your close ones and often you feel you are a failure ( at least that is my case ).
BUT at the same time, this is a massive opportunity to grow tremendously and I feel when I get out of this situation I would be 100 times better man and I also have no doubt about it. Even in the darkest moments I just try to suck it up and continue with no doubt that I will make it. It feels ridiculously hard at times and for me, I even switch to PLO 2 months ago and I am not a winning plo player yet but that makes me excited even about the opportunity to show character, grow a lot in the process, and be super proud of myself when I make it.
I wanted to share my situation with you so that you know you have someone that understands your situation really well and is on the same path as you because I know how lonely the whole experience can be, more so when nobody around you seems to really relate or understand you.
I hope I expressed myself good enough given my limited English skills.
Good luck man and stay strong ( even when you feel weak if that make sense )
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Hi Orlando. It must be really hard to go from playing highstakes to micros once again. And focussing in such a hard moment may be real hard but hey. You have the skill, it’s all about putting the hours. I really believe with propper mindset you can solve all of this in way less time than expected.
I’d highly recommend you trying meditation or relaxation breathing techniques in order to deal with tilt. That changed everything for me when I used to tilt some time ago.
I wish you the best man. You can do it.
And hey, this is a wake up call. If you answer it and understand what it really means it can become a great opportunity to live a way better life. I really believe that.
Get to it!
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I feel bad for you and I wish you achieve all what you want…..
It seems the addiction was your main problem….. so be strong
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